This year at E3 during the Xbox panel during a scripted “trash talk” bit someone made a scripted rape joke (male gamer to girl gamer who sucks at a game: “just wait, it’ll all be over soon.”) and then they acted like it wasn’t a big deal and then they released an expensive, anti-consumer (DRM on physical games) piece of hardware. And then Sony just released the PS4 which is just the PS3 but better graphics and $100 cheaper than the Xbox. So THAT happened.
But then Nintendo just quietly released a bunch of great looking sequels for all of it’s major franchises (Mario, Pikmin, Donkey Kong, and Smash Bros.) and every single one of those games interestingly features playable female characters who haven’t been seen in decades like Dixie Kong and Princess Peach - and Pikmin now has a new female hero.
One of my favorite things about Peach in the new Mario game is that one of the power ups is a literal “cat suit” and Peach’s “cat suit” doesn’t sexualize her at ALL. You can’t even see her boobs. She just looks like she’s wearing over-sized footie pajamas it’s so cute. Also they added a pink letter to the Mario logo just to accommodate Peach’s re-inclusion into the franchise as a character with actual agency!
So at the end of the presentation they tell you to go to the Smash Bros website to find out about new characters. And then they announced this character, Wii Fit Trainer, on the site. And in an interview the director said he gets thousands of requests for almost every video game character under the sun and he’s gotten absolutely zero requests for this character and he put her in the game to be funny and defy fan expectation. This character is literally “hey fuck you we’re the ones making the games around here, and we’ll be goofy and funny if we want to and also check it out another female character in Smash.”
Also the inclusion of the Animal Crossing villager is interesting because Animal Crossing is VERY popular with girls and even though the villager is male I’m 100% certain his alternate costumes will include the girl default villager character. So that’s neat. The three Smash characters they announced were two girl(ish) characters from two girl(ish) games and then Mega Man.
Also in the new Animal Crossing game boys are allowed to cross dress and all of the animals are explicitly genderqueer in the dialog. Characters say stuff like “Boys can ware make up if they want to, I mean, it’s 2013, who cares?” and just today a jock rhino was looking deeply into my eyes and asking me to hike a football and I asked him if he loved me (which was one of the option out of other options about sports) and he was like “Oh I guess a lot can happen when you look into someone else’s eyes like that, huh?” He didn’t even care that we’re both guys. Also in the new Pokemon game you can be black.
Basically what I’m saying is Nintendo is quietly and systematically making their games more socially progressive and Microsoft made a rape joke and then said “what? it was a joke.”
Okay, so I just finish watching ROTG because our Direct Tv is shit. Well anyway, I’m about to discuss a side character in a movie, so sit down and hold yo shit, cause shits about to get deep.
You see this little fucking girl, yea this dope ass girl touching cheeks with a dope ass unicorn made of Sandy’s dream sand. Well you fuck, this little girl’s name is Cupcake.
She’s known for being tough and fucking angry all the damn time, and for being dope. Remember when Pippa threw a snow ball at Jaime, and Cupcake was about to jank a bitches weave cause Jaime ran into her totally artist snowman. Well, that part of the movie, they portrayed her as a girl who is unapproachable and that ain’t afraid to kick some ass.
Well, in this part she’s wearing a pink, cute fucking dress, and is homies with a tight ass unicorn, not only that, her fucking room is dope out with pink walls and posters of pink shit.
This ,motherfuckers, proves that just because someone (no matter the gender, I don’t discriminate), seems intimating, tough, scary, ect does not mean they don’t have a soft side or can’t be caring.
He’s only in Prisoner of Azkaban, and he has two lines:
“It’s among the darkest omens in our world. It’s an omen… of death.”
and don’t forget, the ever popular:
“It’s like trying to catch smoke… Like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.”
It’s like okay, kid, we don’t know who you are, but go ahead and say the two most intense lines in the entire movie. I guess that’s cool. Whatevs.
This is Bem, the only student to ever successfully change Houses. In the third movie, he’s a Gryffindor. In the fifth he magically becomes a Ravenclaw. Bow down to Bem for he holds all the knowledge.
BEM IS OUR KING.
It’s because after he uttered those two lines everyone was like ‘DAYUM BEM’ and he was sent to Dumbledore’s office and Dumbledore was like I boy you twoo fuckin’ wise to be a lion you gonna be a eagle now. Get your ass in Ravenclaw.
and thats how it happened.
the end.
All hail Bem.
you can really tell we haven’t had a new book for over 5 years now can’t you?
getting 0 notes on a post is like when you try to say something when you’re with a big group of people but they all ignore you and keep talking to each other and you just sort of stand there and you dont know what to do
this happens to me in real life AND on the internet
I joined the party
